[interview] Dwarfcraft Devices: Benjamin Hinz

Here's FXDB's interview with Benjamin Hinz of Dwarfcraft Devices:

How did Dwarfcraft Devices start?

As Dwarf Lord Garmudjiundion was dying he whispered to me: "Aen, you must find new sounds. You must use them to slay fools. Do this for me, son, if you can."

And in my quest to find new sound and slay fools I garnered some web-based attention. As a matter of survival I began to sell my secret weapons, because nobody cares about music, only THINGS.

Dwarf Lord Garmudjiundion taught me the art of audio combat, Devi Ever helped me with a number of tips and tricks. Louise Woletz Hinz did the rest.

Where do the name and logo come from?

When I received my training for battle from the great Dwarf Lord Garmudjiundion, so to honor him and his race we named the company Dwarfcraft.

The first logo was a Crow, because we were carrying many dead souls to the next world. The next logo was a Lion, because we were actively hunting for our victims, and also defending our territory against hyenas. The third logo is a Saber Tooth Tiger Skull, because that is what I wear for armor every day. We will put it on garments for normal people, and share the protective power of the Skull.

What sets Dwarfcraft Devices apart from other builders?

  1. This Company Runs On Blood
  2. Fair prices
  3. The Future Of Audio Combat
  4. I Killed The Dinosaurs
  5. Torrorogoroborosnorrokrkrbr does not make mistakes.

How do you start on a new pedal?

First, we make blood sacrifice to the Audio Lord, Torrorogoroborosnorrokrkrbr. Then we chant and drone, appealing to Torrorogoroborosnorrokrkrbr for his blessing and guidance. Then we smoke a bowl.

After a breadboard prototype is completed, we sell it because Torrorogoroborosnorrokrkrbr does not make mistakes.

How do you name your pedals?

I'm glad you asked! When I first communed with Torrorogoroborosnorrokrkrbr it was after a long drone session, and a short bloodletting session beneath Teotihuacan in Mexico. I said to him: "Torrorogoroborosnorrokrkrbr, oh great smasher of chests, I have come to you seeking guidance in New Sounds for Audio Combat" and he said unto me: "Aen, my son, I am pleased you have come to me, but do you know why you have come to me?". And I said unto him: "Oh, great Torrorogoroborosnorrokrkrbr, the crusher of shins, I am here to make new sounds in Audio Combat in the hopes of slaying fools as my great teacher The Dwarf Lord has commanded whilst he died at Culvers."

And Torrorogoroborosnorrokrkrbr said to me: "Aen, my son, you are the FOOL! You have no choice in the matter. You are The Great Destroyer. Go to your basement, and just try to build an overdrive, El, Oh, El, then you will see."

When I tried to build the overdrive, I made only the pedal you know as The Great Destroyer.

Can you tell us something about the production process?

On Earth, three Humans build Dwarfcarft Pedals, One Human builds Dwarfcarft Amplifiers. On the third plane, our Spirit Doubles double our actions. When we are able to access The Fourth Plane (Sterberkenderker'shur) our spirit animals will build the sound.

First, we make blood sacrifice to the Audio Lord, Torrorogoroborosnorrokrkrbr. Then we chant and drone, appealing to Torrorogoroborosnorrokrkrbr for his blessing and guidance. Then we smoke a bowl.

Then we descend into the solder pit for the Attaching Of Passive Components Ritual. This takes one hundred minutes. Then we begin the Holing Of The Holy Metal Box. This takes less than one hundred minutes. Then We begin the Screwing Shit On The Box. After that it all gets very technical and you have to take acid or coke.

How important is the look of your pedals?

It's important that they look "cool" so some fools will try them and join the Right Side in the battle.

Is parts selection important?

Most of our parts come from secret mines and factories beneath London, as well as more traditional black market sources. The engine that drives Rot Yr Brain however, is actually made from kitten brains on site.

Which of your pedals makes you most proud?

The Next Pedal. All our devices are excellent weapons for Audio Combat, but I am only moved by the future of Audio Combat.

Which of your pedals was your toughest build?

The Shiva, because it is made mostly of Tyrannosaurus parts. Second hardest is Hax, becasue it has a lot of bunny parts.

Which of your pedals is the most popular?

Probably the Eau Claire Thunder because it's got serious balls, and I had the sense to retain some bass in the circuit.

Who uses your pedals and for which genres?

We only make pedals for ME. All others are assumed to be FOOLS until proven otherwise.

The Ronald Raygun uses many of our effects. Other groups that are almost as good and use Dwarfcraft include Boris, The Mars Volta, and Genghis Kahn (Only on the Third Plane).

What does the future of Dwarfcraft Devices look like?

We hope to access The Fourth Plane in the next two years, via blood sacrifice, and ritual drone session.

We are focusing on slaying more fools, it seems as soon as you slay one, another pops up in his place.

We hope to end ALL PEDAL PRODUCTION on planet earth and introduce a Science Magic Ritual allowing dedicated humans to directly transfer thought to audio.

Are you working on any new products?

Yes, a sequenced pitch shifter. It will be released long before any FOOL deserves.

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